Goodbye Grandma

Since Ying Long said that my blog's slowly drying up, I decided to write a post to moisten it up again. Some significant events did occur in the past few months but I've been too tired to sit down here and write a post. I think I'll start with the more recent events first then maybe backtrack a little bit.

My grandmother passed away two weeks ago on the evening of the 13th of October. I was actually home on that day, a Monday, as I was on MC for fever and diarrhoea. As usual, I didn't pay much attention to her or anything to the extent that I didn't even know that they took her off to the hospital due to a lung infection. The nurse came to our place that afternoon to do some checks on her and the doctor who was accompanying her said that she had a lung infection so they had to ward her.

That evening, my mom and aunt went to visit her and that was when the doctors did a crash cart on her and said that she was very, very ill. According to mom, that was about 7.45pm. If I recall, mom said that another senior doctor came in later and started to give them a debrief of what could be done on her. Then, yet another more senior doctor, the registrar, came to take a look, did some stuff and by the time he came out, Nenek was gone; that was about 8.20pm. Dad and I were in the car heading back to camp when I recieved mom's call that grandma had passed on. Mom was distraught and I couldn't do anything much so I called my instructor and asked what I needed to do. So he said I needed to book in and I could sign out the next morning.

By the time I got gome the next day, it was about half past eight so I took a shower and dressed up and sent down to see her. They tied a bandage from her jaw up to her head because her mouth probably couldn't close anymore and she was very pale, a yellowish pale. She didn't look at all like the grandma I know and with the events occuring so quickly, I really didn't know what to do or how to react, really. It took some time to sink in.

At 9 am, the person who would be bathing and shrouding her came and set up her table and what not for the grand bath. My mom, eldest sister and an aunt from Johor assisted in the bathing and shrouding of grandma. At about 10.30 or 11 her body was out from the bath and that's when the relatives will say their very final goodbyes. it was only then, when I saw my mom breaking down, my sister-in-law crying did I break down for the first time. An old neighbour gave me a packet of tissue as I was wiping my tears on my Kashmiri scarf.

It's tradition for the close family members and companions of the desceased to sprinkle camphor powder (pacai) and flowers around the head before the body is covered and secured. The camphor and flowers act as frangrancing materials for the body as it is prepared to return to God. I kissed gramma on the head and when everybody was done, the lady who shoured her placed a final white, handkerchief-sized cloth on my gramma's face and then she was covered up fully.

The body was then placed in position for the funeral prayers to be held. Because the deceased is a lady,the position for the imam to stand is at her waist and that's where I stood to lead the final prayers for gramma. There were many people around, family, friends of my late gramma, neighbours, old neighbours and our extended family. I really broke down as I was praying over her and after that she was brought out and down to the void deck where her temporary coffin stood. There was a small speech on death and whatever not and asking those who wished to seek claims of debts and whatsoever to approach the family members to settle the finances and all this and that. Then the casket was carried into the hearse and we headed out to the cemetary. Mom was quite unstable then so she stayed home toentertain the guests and clean up the house a little. Oh, I forgot that my brother had flown off to Jakarta the evening before for a business trip so he couldn't be there to see gramma off.

When we were at the cemetary, my two sons of my grandma's adopted daughter and my brother-in-law went inside the grave and helped position her. After that, a bulldozer (well, not a bulldozer but I dunno what that thing is called) came and covered the grave up. There, gramma was in her new home. So after everything was settled, we headed home for midday prayers and more prayers for gramma. After that was lunch and then the guests went home and we rested. The next day was rest day for us and our Malaysian guests (gramma's adopted daughter and her children and grandson).

On Thursday, we went down to the gravesite with mom, my uncle and the Malaysians. We made an order for her tombstone and grave settings and went down to see how the place was like after 2 days. So we placed the order for the design and all and then headed home. In the evening was another prayer session for her.

So yeah, that's it, grams passed on. Unexpected, quick and peaceful. May the Lord have mercy on her soul. Ameen.

True Colours

They say that one way to see a person's true colours is by living with them and seldom do we get the opportunity to do this; however, the army is one heck of a way. Being thrown into a room with eleven or twelve other people and be expected to get along with every single one of them is a feat of epical proportions. The amount of tolerance, understanding and patience needed is quite overwhelming sometimliving times. By living with these people, we gradually get to see their characters unfold layer by layer until we see the true person which lies within and the person whom we once thought was a friend might just develop into an enemy which we cannot wait to destroy. Then we have the other type of people who are angellic and once they are applied with pressure and fatigue, they turn into a nasty creature- this, my friends, is the type of person I am. Yet another type of person are the ones who are great pretenders... and these people are the worst. They create a beautiful facade for people to look at and adore and when the bidding has run its time, they show how unattractive their character is. I guess the army as taught me to never let my initial intuition be clouded by the facades people place because I believe my senses are sharper than that.

I just completed my 24Km route march on Thursday evening at about 11.30pm and it has been my biggest achievement in the institution till date. Basically the 24k march was kinda the grand finale of the course and the remaining 10 days are just to maintain out physical status until we are despatched to our individual units. None of us have any idea where we'll be posted to. In typical "me" style, I'd like a relaxed vocation which allows me to just have a desk job, work at my own time and own target, perfom my prayers and then go home every day at 5pm. However, I have a feeling that this desire of mine is just wishful thinking =D

Monday marks the beginning of the fasting month and I couldn't be more worried because this is the first time I'll be doing it away from home and in a place where we have to do a lot of physical activity. I don't know how many days of fast will be wasted but I do hope it'll be at the minimum. I'll also have to put in extra effort to guard myself during the fasting month because we have to follow an extra strict protocol during Ramadhan.

Okay peeps, that's all for this moment. I wish you all a blessid Ramadhan. Peace out

I'm Back for Now

Goodness gracious me, it's been a long time hasn't it? Lols, I'm only left with like 3 more weeks before I pass out from BMT. I do hope to be sent to a vocation whereby I can be at a desk and do simple work.. I don't want to be in a combat unit where I'll have to continue with training.. I don't like physical! Sometimes I just wake up and just feel like uuuuurrrrrgggghhhhh... The days and weeks seem to pass slowly at times and then pass quickly at times.

Let's see what I've been through up to now...

1) Field Camp.. This was horrible! 5 days in the elements, not bathing, not seeing technology. Five days of peeing in the bushes and using a hole in the ground to take a crapper. Thank goodness our company was very nice to us and didn't push us very hard during this camp.

2) Situational test. If field camp was horrible, this was even WORSE!!! Two days but the activities were arranged such that we will be tired out and then tested on whether we can still think in a state of fatigue and extreme heat. It was tiring... This was, until now, THE most horrible time of my life.

3) 12km Route march. The march was actually not as tiring as the 8km one that we did because the weather and road conditions were very kind to us but after 8 or 10 km, my legs were killing me! Thank heavens I was the rear scout so the seargent and I were walking about 50-100m behind the whole troop thus we were walking at a leisurely pace..

4) Live Shooting! Yeah baby, I'm a great shooter at night and a horrible one in the day.. my score was 25/32. Oh, and where else can we shoot a gun but during NS.

Ok people, that's a little summary of my life... so yeah. Peace out for now!

God Has Been Kind

Hey everyone, I'm back from my third week in camp and I'm here to tell the tale! Due to the confidential nature of things in the SAF, I cannot post any details with regards of the trainings or any of that stuff here so all I can do is take you through the journey I went through on the day of my enlistment and a few days that entailed after that. All I have to say now that I have been in the Army... as a SOLDIER, is that God has been kind to me. Very kind.

Enlistment day is one day that I'll never, EVER want to relive again. The sadness, fear, worries and anxiousness that was felt on that day cannot be compared to anything that I ever felt in my life. I had a physical break-down before leaving and the journey there was pretty much in silent prayer. Believe me when I say that I was in such a depressed state that I would have bartered everything I had for it not to happen.

So we all congregated at Pasir Ris interchange and were ferried in buses towards the ferry terminal. We were then ushered into the ferry and then shipped off to Tekong Island. As we moved into the island itself, we were brought into the HQ building where the enlistees and parents parted ways. At this point, I was pretty much numb from all the worrying and was just going through it one step at a time...

We enlistees went up a flight of stairs and then down a corridoor where a personnel was seated to collect our pink ICs. To some, this surrendering of their ICs is a big deal but as I said, I was already numb to feel anything much. So after surrendering our ICs, we all sat down for a briefing where we were given our identification tags, 11B identification card and a few other stuff. Then we were weighed and then sent to be seated to watch a few videos about the SAF. In this very anxious moment, God calmed me down by meeting me up with an old secondary schoolmate. He's a sergeant in my company which was soothing to the senses to see someone I know there.

After practicing the oath and procedures that would entail, we entered the auditorium to be addressed by the Commanding Officer of BMTC. Our parents shuffled in a bit later and then they witnessed out oath-taking. After the ceremony, we moved outside where our parents picked us up and then we went for lunch.

Lunch was an unappetising one for me because I was too worried and whatever to eat. The food was good, yes but I just had no appetite. The worst thing was that just a while later, we were told to assemble in the parade square and bid our families goodbye. So our parents left us and we went to register ourselves to collect our barang barang. We then went to a shed to check whethe we were issued with everything we needed. By this time, it was really nearly nightfall and since there were some adjustments to make, some people had to be moved here and there and it was life perhaps 10 plus before we got our final bunk arrangements.

God has been kind, god has been kind. The 12 of us in the bunk clicked right away. And I really mean right away. We were already talking pretty much from the moment we got settled. And can you believe this, we were issued our items a few hours before and one bugger had already misplaced his sports shoes. *smacks forehead* We all then knew that we had a klutz in our midst... a truly hopeless klutz. We would soon learn that this bugger would be the worst problem our bunk could ever have. He is unreceptive, he is introverted, he is just a plain lost cause who's selfish.

Lemme do an intriduction of my bunkmates here. So there are twelve of us in the bunk, 2 Malays, one Indian, 2 foreigners and the rest are Chinese. In bed one is Ashley, he's one heck of a funny joker, a genuinely nice guy to hang out with and talk to. Bed two is Shi Jie but we call him Beng because almost every other word that comes from his mouth is KNN, CCB or any other vulgarities you could think of in Hokkien. Bed 3 is Wua Huan, I call him Wallaby but his nicknames is actually Buddha and Basketball- don't ask me why but the reason why I call him Wallaby is because he's Australian-born but moved here since he was 2. Bed 4 is Clement, the one who's forever on the phone every free second he has. Bed 5 is one of my buddies, Afif- the Malay guy. He's the big built kind; body-builder gone fat types, nice guy but very passionate and sometimes bad-tempered. And then, we come to bed 6... Bed 6...

Bed 6 is the bugger s.o.b who lost his p.t shoes on day one. Seriously. Just the outcast. I'm in bed 7 and my bed buddy next to me is Kenneth. He's very quiet a lot of the times but is the type that can talk and hold a decent conversation with. Bed 9 is Nicholas, the shortest man in our bunk, funny guy who's usually one of the last to wake up. Nice guy to talk to and play around with. Bed 10 is Stevanus, born in Taiwan and then brought up in Indonesia.

Ahah, the next two beds are my favourite friends in the bunk: Freddie and Kevin. Freddie's probably my best friend in the bunk because we talk a lot and hang out together and all. He let's me sit and lie down on his bed while we and Kevin talk. Freddie can speak Malay, thanks to the company he keeps. Kevin is the "newest" member to our bunk because he was shifted in only like only day 2 or 3 and he's the more experienced one in the bunk. He was actually enlisted December last year but due to some circumstances, they had to place him out of the training and post him out so now he's back to undergo his BMT. He's not obese, quite the opposite actually but he was posted here so yeah. He's Indonesian-Honkonger who lives in Solo. The only A level graduate in the platoon and he's the nitellectual type and is very deep in thinking. I like talking to him because his interests are quite amusing. =)

So there you go, a little of what I went through. Hopefully I could be an "inspiration" towards whosoever is anxious about starting on the same journey. All I have to do is make plenty of friends and laugh, joke and have fun together because it makes the experience more bearable, enjoyable even.

Last but not least, I would like to wish Yap Min all the best in persuing her studies in Australia. I believe she's leaving on Monday? So I wish you all the best and do stay in contact with all of us. May you have ease in whatever you do and have God's kindness with you all the time.

Peace.

Goodbye

Oh Lord of the Heavens, Hallowed be thy Name. Protect me, Lord of Glory and the owner of the Jabarut. I hold strong to the Lord of the Dominions and Malakut. And I leave my affairs to the Living, the One that never dies. Protect me from the evils of mankind.

I hope I can handle this, people. Pray for me